Communication Is More Than Words
Communication Is More Than Words: Helping Your Non-Verbal Child Find Their Voice
Parenting a non-verbal child is a unique journey, filled with moments of discovery, connection, and sometimes, uncertainty. One of the most important lessons to learn on this journey is that communication is so much more than spoken words. In fact, did you know that
verbal communication accounts for only about 7% of how humans communicate? The rest is non-verbal—gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, body movements, and even the pauses between words.
When we shift our perspective on communication, it opens a whole new world of understanding and connection with our neurodivergent children. They communicate in incredible, unique ways—ways that are just as meaningful, valid, and important as spoken words.
Communication Is More Than Words
Think about it: even when you don’t speak the same language as someone else, you can still connect. A smile, a wave, a shared laugh—these are all ways we communicate. The same is true for our children. Their communication might look different from what we expect, but it’s there. It might be:
Gestures: Pointing, reaching, or pulling your hand toward something they want to show you.
Sounds: Vocal stimming, humming, or making certain noises to express excitement, frustration, or curiosity.
Behaviors: Throwing an object, flapping their hands, or walking away can all be ways of telling us something.
Expressions: The sparkle in their eye, a furrowed brow, or a big smile can convey their emotions and thoughts.
Each of these forms of communication is a window into what they’re experiencing and how they’re connecting with the world around them. By acknowledging and respecting these forms of expression, we tell our children: I see you. I hear you. You matter.
Active Listening: It’s Not Just About Words
One of the most powerful things we can do as parents is listen—even if our child isn’t speaking. Listening means being present, attentive, and responsive to their unique ways of expressing themselves. Here’s how we can do that:
Acknowledge Their Communication: When your child vocal stims, gestures, or uses their body to communicate, respond with warmth and attention. Reflect back what you see. For example, “I see you’re pointing at the window—are you curious about what’s outside?”
Validate Their Efforts: Let them know that their communication matters. Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re trying to say, your acknowledgment helps them feel heard and supported.
Engage Proactively: Get down to their level, make eye contact if they’re comfortable with it, and mirror their actions or sounds. This shows them that their way of interacting with you is valued and that you’re meeting them where they are.
Be Patient: Finding their voice—whether that’s through speech, gestures, or other forms—takes time. Celebrate the small steps and remember that every attempt to connect is a big deal.
Building a Bridge to Understanding
By accepting and honouring all forms of communication, we create an environment where our children feel safe and supported. This doesn’t just help them feel comfortable; it also encourages them to explore new ways to express themselves.
For some children, this might mean gradually moving toward spoken words or learning to use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices. For others, it might mean developing a rich tapestry of non-verbal ways to connect. Either way, the goal is not to change who they are, but to help them feel empowered and confident in expressing themselves.
A Positive Pathway Forward
The journey of helping your child find their voice is not about rushing or pushing—it’s about being present, supportive, and patient. It’s about seeing the beauty in their unique way of interacting with the world and showing them, every day, that their voice matters—however it’s expressed.
When we focus on connection instead of correction, on understanding instead of fixing, we build a bridge of trust and love that supports our children in becoming their fullest, most authentic selves.
So, take a deep breath. Listen. Reflect. Respond. Your child’s voice is there—it might not be what you expected, but it’s uniquely theirs. You’re not just helping your child find their voice—you’re giving them the confidence to use it, however it may sound.
Together, let’s celebrate their voice—whatever form it takes.